2011 or 2012?

That is the question. What year will these babies be born in?

Let me back-track a bit for you all. Christmas morning came and Tom and I woke up, looked at each other, and croaked, "I'm sick" to each other. We both had no voice, stuffed noses, and felt like we had been hit by two mack trucks. No sooner did we discover our sickness than our 5 year old android son who won't sleep came bounding and clambering on our bed yelling it was Christmas morning and we had to go downstairs and open all the presents. I'm glad all those readings of Jesus' birth had such a profound impact on him.

So, after my son opened all his presents, Tom and I were still shell shocked and sitting on opposite couches. We each drank the equivalent of a pot of coffee and decided we had better get a move on. My mother, with her special brand of Greek ESP, called to inform me the turkey was in her oven and she was coming over to use my double oven for the rest of the food.

The day was spent chopping, stuffing, seasoning and cooking the traditional turkey meal while poor Tom cleaned the place up for his parents and godparents. Of course, their were many tears shed over the course of the day thinking about Chris and all the fun times we had at Christmas' past. Diane sent my parents some beautiful mugs with Chris' photos on them and lovely quotes. When they opened them, it was a complete tear fest. We also heard from Tony and Elsa in Peru, they are enjoying the tropical heat.

Boxing day we spent lying on various couches trying to get over our colds. Yesterday, we went to the hospital for my non-stress test and this is where things get complicated. You see, my c-section is technically scheduled for January 3rd. I really wanted to make it to that date so that the twins would have January birthdays rather than sharing their birthday with Christmas and each other. I know, I know, what a dumb thought!!!

They made me pee, hooked me up to the monitor and then started taking my blood pressure. My blood pressure was a little high and there was some protein in the urine. After the NST, we waited to visit with my OB and he advised us that he was going to take my blood and depending on the results, he may or may not deliver the babies. We waited another hour or two but the blood came back normal so I was sent home, but with strict orders to rest up and to go back to see my OB this morning.

I went this morning and my blood pressure was fine as was my urine. We heard the heart-beats again and then I was ordered to go back to the hospital for another ultra sound. After a three hour ultra sound I was sent home with the orders to rest up again and to see the doctor again in the morning. So, we wait to see what the Dr says tomorrow. According to the ultrasound, he weighs 5lbs 4 0z and she weighs 6lbs 2oz. So they are nice, big babies for twins - we just want to get them out safe and sound!

I'll keep you all posted!

Countdowns!

T-72 hours until Christmas Morning
T-12 days to scheduled C-Section for the twins.

What a busy week. It's always tough trying to get everything ready for the holidays. Let alone being 35 weeks pregnant with twins!!! On the holiday front, I've done all my shopping but not all my wrapping. Well, almost all my shopping - I still have to buy for the stockings. I decided to forego baking this year due to the fact that I am so tired all the time, and I figured my rest was more important than anything else.

In regards to the babes, I am now 35 weeks 4 days pregnant with the twins. I went to a non-stress test on Tuesday and they were their usual active selves and yesterday I followed up with my OB. He asked me if I wanted my c-section on Tuesday. I was surprised and asked him why and he explained that he's confident the babes are fine and ready to come out. I know this sounds totally nuts, most women in my situation would desperately want these monkeys out. I don't look or sound exactly comfortable, but I really had it in my head that these twins would be born in January if I could help it. I just have my head set on the fact that these babes would come on January 3rd.

So, I go back to the hospital on Tuesday for yet another NST and then back to the OB on Wednesday for a follow up again. We are actually nearing the end. I do have some stuff I need to still purchase, but I'll wait till after Christmas to get what I need.

Our plans for the holidays are pretty simple. On Christmas Eve, we are going to be with Tom's family. Christmas day, my parents and GodParents and Mother in law and Father in law are coming here. My mom is doing most of the cooking. New Years should be fun if I can make it that far! It's my brother in law Kostas' 40th birthday party at his house.

Our little man Stathis was very excited this week because he got to visit with Santa and tell him what he wanted - an INSANE Harry Potter Lego set. Lord Help Us, it's going to take all of Christmas day to put it together! It's going to be a tough day to get through without Chris but together, we will make it. Diane is staying up at her parent's place with the boys and Tony, Elsa and Markos have gone to Peru to spend the holiday with Elsa's family.

Hopefully I will post again before Christmas, but in case I don't, God Bless and have a wonderful day!

34 weeks 5 days update and an award!

So, I am now at 34 weeks and 5 days pregant with the twins. My belly is humongous, I am out of breath, tired, sleepy and hungry all the time. I have swollen feet and wicked heartburn, but I wouldn't trade any of this for a moment! I went to the doctor on Wednesday and as suspected, he's going to ramp up the amount of monitoring for me and the twinkies. I have to go on Tuesday for a non-stress test and possibly another ultrasound and then Wednesday for an appointment with him to follow up. We talked about the c-section and he is thinking either January 3rd or January 7th. I am more partial to the 3rd for my own comfort, but we'll see what happens. The count-down is officially on. So far, touch wood, no spotting or contractions. Today I am taking it easy here, trying to get some gifts wrapped and help Stathis memorize a poem for his Greek school Christmas concert tomorrow.

Carlia at The Stork Drop Zone and Athena at A Field of Dreams gave me the this award:






So, basically what I have to do is tell you 7 things about myself and then nominate 5 other bloggers that I love:

7 things about me:

1. I love watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I am a fan of really smutty reality tv. I think because it's just mind-candy for me and lets me escape for a little while.
2. I cannot, cannot, cannot start the day without a cup of coffee. I am literally a mess until I drink a strong cup of coffee. Then, I feel human and can start the day.
3. I bought some light fixtures for my new house that we hung up and I loved at the time. Lately, I'm not so crazy about them. I'm scared to tell Tom about how much I am suddenly loathing them because he will lose it on me. I figure I'll wait till we finish the basement and then change the lights then.
4. I don't like people buying me stuff because I have very particular taste and then I feel guilty for returning gifts. Most of my close friends and family know this and have basically given up on me and just give me cash to get what I want. I feel bad at birthdays and Christmas when I have nothing to open, but I'd rather just get what I want.
5. Right now, I can't get enough of Justin Bieber's Christmas CD. Yes, you read that right. I am 37 years old and I love his version of The Little Drummer Boy. Go download it on itunes right now - you won't regret it!
6. Ever since I met Tom, I have not been attracted to another man. He is the most gorgeous man in my eyes, inside and out. Sometimes I want to strangle him but most times we get along great.
7. I can't wait to have these babies so that I can drink some wine and have a medium rare steak. I know that may sound ghetto, but it's the truth. 9 months is a long time to go without a good steak and glass of wine.

Now I am hoping the following fab 5 will tell us some random stuff about themselves:

T at Almost There
AP at My Dusty Uterus
Marilyn at Trying to Conceive
OG at Wonderfully Ordinary
Heather at The Road Less Travelled


Happy Friday and Happy Weekend Everyone!

My new nephew!

Yesterday was a nutso-butso day. I had an ultrasound scheduled for 1:30 so my day was scheduled around that. Diane, my sister in law went into the hospital to be induced Monday night. She was due December 7th and really wanted to get the show on the road! They put some gel on her cervix and sent her home and told her to come back in the morning. Yesterday morning they put her on a oxytocin drip around 11 and then at noon she texted me that her water broke. After a relatively painless labour and 15 minutes of pushing, my new nephew Byrce Christophoros was born at 6:45 pm weighing 8lbs14oz.
Here's a photo!


My parents opted and I decided to stay at home for the labour and delivery to not add any pressure to Diane. Her mom and her aunt were with her for the delivery. It was very emotional for us all, knowing that Chris isn't here to hold his son. He was so looking forward to this baby. And I have to say, he is the SPITTING image of my handsome, dark Greek brother. We are so happy to have another child of his to love, even though he's not here to share in our joy. My parents have already left to go to the hospital to spend the day with Diane, Evan and Bryce and Tom, Stathis and I are heading up after school.

My ultrasound was good, got to the see the babes - they are growing and my cervix is still long at 4cm. Going to the doctor at 11 this morning for a follow up. Now, must have coffee and get going!

God Bless!!!

34 Weeks and a Hospital Visit for False Labour

So, Thursday was quite the day for me. After my angry rant about how useless I felt in all areas of my life, I took my mom to Stathis' Christmas concert at school. It was hilarious watching him and the other children in Kindergarten perform. After school, he fell asleep at my parents house so I had some time to sort my head out and straighten out my house. Stathis woke up at my parents and then came home and then it was time for him to go to bed. We finally got him settled around 10 and then for some reason, I forgot that I was pregnant and decided to run up the stairs. As soon as I made it to the top, I felt a tightening around my abdomen and had to pee. When I wiped, there was blood - not bright red blood, but brownish red. Of course I freaked out, Tom had to calm me down and then we called the hospital and they wanted us to come in after a few questions.

My parents rushed over (it's very nice having them right next door!) and we were off to the hospital. As soon as I got there, they had a room ready for me, had me change, pee in a cup and got me hooked up to the monitor. We heard both heart-beats and I could feel lots of movement. The Dr on call came in quite quickly and did an internal and told me my cervix was only about a fingertip open but there was blood on her glove. She recommended that I stay overnight for observation and that I take two doses of a steroid shot for the twins' lungs.

I ordered Tom to go home around midnight and over the course of the night started having contractions so then I had to explain to the nurses that it was the way they had my lying down (on my back) rather than my side. The problem with lying on my side was that the contractions would stop but they couldn't monitor the babies becuase they were sliding behind each other.

At 7:30, after a rather sleeless night, they wheeled me down to ultrasound. After a 2 and a half hour ultrasound, I learned the twins looked ok. She weighs 4lbs 10 oz and he weighs 4 lbs 7 oz. They will not require NICU time if delivered over 5lbs so I plan on eating like a championa!! As I was rleased from ultrasound, Tom arrived - they had called him a supply teacher at school. Then I was wheeled back up to labour and delivery and hooked back up to the monitor again. The babes were moving around but I was exhausted. The new Dr on call arrived about half an hour after that and said that according to the ultrasound, the cervix was still closed and long and after a few questions she decided to release me on the condition that I came back that evening for the second steroid shot, and that I would take it easy.

We then went to Burger King (don't ask me why, but I had an insane craving for a whopper with cheese) and then came home. I showered and slept and have been trying to keep it easy. Today, my mother in law is coming over to help us set up the nursery and pack the hospital bags. Can you believe that we still haven't packed them? At the hospital, they advised me to get ready because these babes can come at any time.

I'm 34 weeks today. The spotting has pretty much stopped and I can feel the babes move. Last night, Tom took Stathis to our friends house for their son's birthday and I started going through the 3 bins I have of Stathis' baby stuff. My mom and I washed and folded all the new pink and blue stuff. I definitely have everything we need, it's just a matter of getting it all set up.

My next ultrasound is planned for the 13th and then I see my OB on the 14th of this week. I'm curious to see what he has to say and if he's going to start increasing ultrasounds, NST's, and appointments. My family are all betting on whether these are going to be 2011 babies or 2012 babies. Adding to my poor parent's stress is the fact that Diane may be induced tomorrow. She is now past her due date and is anxiously awaiting the arrival of her baby...my Dad is going up to see her and Evan today and my Mom is staying down here to help us out with Stathis.

When it rains, it pours!!!

The Homefront Battles

Now that I am off of work, things are supposed to be better at home, right? Here were some of the things I naively thought were going to happen once my doctor wrote me off work:

My house would be cleaner. Ha! This is a joke. First of all, the outside of our house looks like a mud slide. My front foyer is all dirty no matter how often I try to keep it clean. And add to the mix a 5 year old boy and all he wants to do is run and splash in the mud puddles. That leads to more and more laundry...

My laundry would be all put away. Another snort. First of all, I can hardly keep up with all of the laundry. Tom is a teacher and Stathis is in kindergarten so between the two of them, everything they wear has to be washed. My washer and dryer are constantly going. I also have to wash bedding every night because I also thought my son's sleep habits would improve...

My son would sleep at a reasonable hour and I could take him out of a pull up. This bullet probably deserves it's own separate post. Stathis has been sleeping with a pull-up since I started potty training him. He's now over 5 and I decided it was time to take the pull up off of him. And now, we have a bed-wetter. Sometimes he makes it through the night and sometimes he doesn't. He also is the kind of kid who will tell you he's not tired and pulls tantrums before bed. Honestly, his bed time is the worst time of the day. This week has been especially horrific. On Monday, he decided not to fall asleep until 11. And then, he was up at 4 until 6 because he had an accident and couldn't fall back asleep. He had a low-grade fever so I kept him home from school on Tuesday. Tuesday night, I told Tom I wanted to go to WalMart to pick up some stuff so I left about 7:30. When I got home at 9:30, Stathis was still up, still dressed, the tv was on and he was playing with his trucks. Tom had cleaned the kitchen, and offered to put Stathis down. Gee, thanks, I thought. This is where I see the most differences in Tom and I. I would think getting the child to bed is the priority and not the kitchen, but not Tom. He thinks the cleaner the house, the better. Stathis finally fell asleep around 11 again and then woke up around 6 because he wet the bed. I changed him and put him in our bed since Tom had already left for work. I slept until 10, which is unheard of for me and Stathis finally woke up at 11. So last night, we had another battle where he didn't sleep until midnight and then he woke up at 5 because he had yet another accident. He got into our bed and finally fell back asleep after 6 am and now he's at school. I am so frustrated. I feel like every time I try to start a strict bed-time routine it works for a few days or a week and then we are back at square one. He won't even fall asleep without one of us sitting on a chair outside his room in the hallway. If anyone has any advice on this, I would greatly appreciate it!!!

My family would be eating healthy homemade meals. I had visions of me being like Giada DeLaurentis and cooking fabulous Mediterranean inspired meals. But, by the time I do the laundry, tidy up, and run some errands, there's hardly anytime to cook!!! Don't get me wrong, we're not having take-out a lot, I just thought I would have some time to try cooking some new things, but it's the same old boring dinners night after night.

Christmas baking and presents would be done. Need I say more? I've got gifts everywhere that need to be wrapped and I haven't even thought about baking yet. I feel like the Grinch. When I was at WalMart I invested in Michael Buble and Justin Beiber's Christmas albums to see if they would get me out of my x-mas funk. I'm going to put them on today to see if they inspire me at all.

I would be ready for the twins. Nursery still not set up, I've got piles of clothes for them but nothing is organized. Thankfully my mother in law and sister in law are coming over on Sunday to help us with this task.

I would have some time for me. My uniform these days consists of black yoga pants, black long sleeve maternity shirt and my birkenstock clogs. I am wearing all black out of respect to Chris - I just don't feel comfortable wearing colour yet. My hair is long and shoulder length, parted in the middle and is constantly frizzy. My legs and bikini area? Let's just say it's a jungle down there. And I haven't worn a stitch of make up since I've been off. I need to get myself groomed. I used to be a hottie. Not so much, these days...

I guess I just feel completely overwhelmed and my son's sleep habits aren't helping any. And although Tom is a great husband, he's a man. They just don't get it the way us women do. My blog was primarily a blog about infertility but I chose a neutral title because I didn't want infertility to define me. It has definitely left it's scars on my soul and my psyche but so has my brother's recent death. I think my blog may start to take on a different tone about the battles of daily life as a working married mom in the year 2012. What do you all think?

So that is basically a summary of why I suck at being a stay at home mom. I don't know how my mom did it. Even though it's a battle, I know one thing for sure. I am a fighter. I will win this battle and figure out this mommy-stay-at-home-sleep-train-my-five-year-old-look-good-raise-twins-thing-one-day-at-a-time.

4 more weeks to go!

Yesterday I hit the 33 week mark. This still feels so surreal as I type this entry. Pretty soon, God Willing, I am going to be a Mama of 3! My ob had mentioned last June that I would have a scheduled c-section the first week of January, so I am using that week as my countdown date...

I had an ultrasound last week on the 30th and the technician, who's not supposed to tell me anything basically told me the babes are fine. My son came and she put him on the bed with me and let him watch the whole thing. He was part fascinated and part horrified and part thrilled. I've noticed since the ultrasound he has been much more clingy with me...maybe he's starting to realize how much his life is going to change once the twinvasion happens! My next ultrasound is scheduled for the 13th next week and then I will see my ob on the 14th.

Our tree is up and so are our Christmas decorations. We haven't put everything up and outside. I usually decorate my staircase and we have a ton of lights for outside but since the staircase isn't finished and the outside of our new subdivision can only be described as mud city, we only put some lighted trees in urns on the porch. I have most of the shopping completed and now this week I'll work on getting the presents wrapped. I also usually bake but a ton of cookies but we'll see how I feel and how the week goes...

The nice thing about being home is that I actually have time to get stuff done, even though I move like a turtle! I find grocery shopping is very difficult, so I think this week I will have to have Tom or my Dad do that, it takes everything out of me to do all that walking at this point.

Also on the agenda this week is getting more stuff organized for the twins. Saturday is officially nursery set up day. I am also joining a twin mom group that meets monthly on Wednesday. I'm looking forward to hearing about tricks from the trade!

We are also anxiously awaiting the arrival of Chris and Diane's baby boy, Bryce. Diane's due date is December 7th but so far, the little monkey has made no effort to enter the world! My Dad went up to visit Diane and Evan yesterday to do some work on Diane's new house and he had a nice time visiting with them. My mom is having a hard time right now knowing that Chris's boy will be here soon but he won't be here to hold or welcome his new son into the world. We are all praying very hard for Diane to have a fast and good labour and delivery. It is going to be a bittersweet birth and Christmas for all of us. It's still hard to believe that Chris is gone but somehow, we make it through the days and weeks, mostly by being together and cherishing all of the good times we had with him. He was a very special person.

I hope you all have a good week, I will do my best to update in a few days with some pictures of my humongous belly and some other random thoughts.

31 Week Update!

Yahoo! I am at 31 weeks. This has definitely been the week when the pregnancy has snuck up and kicked me in the ass. It's like I can't control my body anymore. Here is a round up of how my life goes these days:

- wake up from uncomfortable sleep dying of thirst because my nose is stuffed up and because I never felt comfortable all night
- pee for a long time
- drink about a litre of ice water
- pee
-waddle around while getting ready/making breakfast and getting little dude off to school/myself off to work (my official uniform these days are my maternity yoga pants and long sleeve maternity t-shirt)
- pee
- groan like an old lady when I get into and out of my car (try not to pee the whole time driving)
- waddle in to work, am completely out of breath at this time
- go pee
- attend meetings, planning sessions, co-teach with teachers all day while sounding like I am running a marathon
- pee
- get home from work, beg my mother or mother in law to watch Stathis for about one more hour
- go pee again
- lie down on couch, sleep
- wake up, throw some food together and call it dinner (Old El Paso Tacos are considered cooking, right?)
- go pee
- drag Stathis to whatever extra-curricular activity he has going on
- go pee
- come home, bathe Stathis, inform Tom we are both going to bed
- wake up about twice a night to pee

And the cycle continues the next day.

Since I had to be induced with Stathis at 41 weeks I sort of assumed that I would be able to hold these two in until January 3rd, my scheduled c-section date at 37 weeks. Last week, I encountered three women who have twins, all delivered at 32, 33, and 34 weeks respectively. This caused me to throw up a little in my mouth as I have NOTHING set up for these two. I didn't even have the car seats for them.

In the last 72 hours I have gone a little mental. Bought the stroller, the car seats, diapers, bottles and sleepers. Nursery is still not set up as my husband wants to sand and stain the staircase before we do anything. Which sounds like an easy job, right? Well, if you know my husband the staircase will take him about 7 full working days and he works full time.

So, I am just going to make sure the essentials are ready to go for these two babies and hope that they stay in for a at least 4 more weeks. Going to see the doctor on Wednesday, hopefully he will write me off work so I can rest a bit more before these two munchkins make their grand entrance!!!

Birthday and Babies Update

This has been a crazy week! Work has been mental as there are a lot of projects that I am working on with teachers that are just getting started. I went for an ultrasound on Tuesday and then had an appointment with my OB/GYN on Wednesday. Everything looks ok with the babies! Twin A is measuring 3lbs and Twin B is measuring 3lbs3oz. How they can figure the weight out is beyond me.

My OB explained that everything looks good with them, my blood pressure and urine were fine and again I was able to hear that sweet sound of the babies' heart-beats. I'm pretty sure that I only have 2 weeks of work left! So now I am on the crazy train of trying to get everything organized for the person who is going to take over my mat leave.

We haven't really done anything to get ready for the babies as of yet and I'm starting to feel a little anxious. My plan is to just get work wrapped up and then to set up the nursery, get our bags packed for the hospital, sort out the bottle situation, get the stroller and car-seats and then we should be good to go!

This week was also birthday week. Diane's birthday was Wednesday and mine was yesterday. We are going up to the town where Diane is now living on Saturday to go out for dinner and to see Evan. Somehow, I made it through Diane's birthday without losing it, but mine wasn't so easy. For the first year, I didn't get to chat with Chris and joke around with him. He was always the first person to call me on my birthday and one of the first things he told me when he met Diane was that she was born on November 9th. He thought that was the coolest thing that her and I practically shared a birthday.

It was still a nice birthday even though I miss Chris like crazy - my bff Erica came over and so did my parents and we had pizza and ceasar salad and then cake and coffee. Mom and Dad bought me two new charms for my Pandora bracelet - one pink and one blue...Tom and Stathis gave me some funny cards. Tom didn't buy me anything because I told him not to. I need new Uggs but I want to go pick them myself! I am such a Rachel from friends - I usually return everything he buys me! Poor guy! My brother Tony called me from BC and we had a great chat with lots of laughs and I got tons of emails and birthday messages from Facebook.

Anyway, it's almost time to get ready for work here and I want to make myself a coffee before I get this day started. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and I will post again early next week!

Take Care,

29 weeks 1 day!

Here we are at 29 weeks 1 day. I am thrilled that I have made it this far!


This week I have an ultra sound scheduled for Tuesday and I go to see my OB on Wednesday. Things seem to be going well - the babes seem to be growing as my belly is getting pretty big! I find myself winded very easily and there are times in the day when I definitely waddle instead of walk, but I am pushing through.

I am really hoping that my OB will write me off work in the next few weeks because I definitely can't do as much as before. Swollen feet, ankles and even wrists and fingers seem to happen from time to time. Also, I have the lovely pregnancy heartburn. Ouch. When I put my feet up at the end of the day, however, there is no better feeling than feeling the babies have a little dance party in my belly. I can't believe how great it feels, and I am cherishing every moment of my pregnancy.

I had a great weekend. On Saturday, I went out for dinner with my two best friends and we laughed and cried over marriage, kids and the craziness of life in general. On Sunday we had friends over for lunch who are also expecting their third child. They have two boys so Stathis had a ball playing with them.

This week I am turning 37 on Thursday and Diane is turning 34 on Wednesday so we are going to celebrate together on Saturday. It's going to be tough to get through the birthdays without Chris but somehow we both think if we're around a lot of family we may just make it through. Diane went for an ultrasound last week as she's 35 weeks now and the baby is head down and they estimated his weight at 6lbs7oz. Another big boy just like Evan, my nephew!

We are finally starting to feel settled in the new house. We spent a lot of time over the weekend organizing stuff and although the basement looks like a disaster, the other two floors don't look so bad. I still need to get some artwork and bedding to make it feel a little more like it has our personality stamp but that's about it. And we have to paint. But hey, one thing at a time!

I can't believe we are getting to the point where we have to start getting ready for Christmas - time is flying by. We also have to set up the twin's nursery and get stuff that we need for them - including bottles! Thanks for all of your supportive comments last week when I outed myself with the fact that I wouldn't be breast-feeding the twins. I feel so much better now about things now that I've sorted it out. Tom and the rest of the family were also in agreement as they know that I am going to need a ton of help and this way, others can pitch in!

I hope everyone has a great Monday - I'll try to post again after the ultra sound and OB appointment.

Take Care,

Seeming Real

Well it's here. I have now made it to 28 weeks. And things are suddenly hitting me. I am going to have 2 babies. Holy Crap. If you are not wanting to read this post because it's about me venting about being a mom, please feel free to not read this post...

When I had my son, I was completely committed to breast-feeding exclusively. Oh, how I loved the fact that he latched on no problem and fed like a champ. I would spend hours sitting on the couch, watching daytime tv nursing him and then changing him, and then putting him in his little swing or his pack n play for a nap. My mom would come over and we would eat, drink tea and chat and then repeat the process.

But here's my reality now. There are two babies coming at once. And, there is a 5 year old who has karate, Greek school, homework and who will still need time with Mommy and Papa. And, a new house that isn't completely set up and feels a little weird. And, a widowed sister in law who will also have a baby and will need some support from my parents.

So, when I think about breast feeding I don't get all warm and fuzzy. I get annoyed. I think about how much time it will take and how I don't want to do it. It's like going from loving cheeseburgers to hating cheeseburgers. Can that happen in a lifetime? I am honestly contemplating formula feeding for my own sanity. Is that selfish? Yes, I know breast is best and all the benefits of nursing. I nursed my son exclusively for 8 months. But, I know this: Happy Mama = Happy Babies.

Do I go with the math? The logic? Or do I let the guilt that I would hear from the LaLeche Society rule my life? I think I know what I want. As much as I have prayed to God, the Virgin Mary and Saint Peter for these tiny miracles growing in my stomach I know I need to do what's right for me.

What's right for me is being able to measure how much they are taking in and getting them on the same sleep schedule right away. I just know myself enough to know that with twins, order will not come easy, but this is something that may help with the management of my new crew.

I really hope this post doesn't sound selfish and whiny but I am just trying to clear my head about this feeding issue. I know I can pump, I know I could supplement but really, I don't want to. I just want to get these babies eating and sleeping at the same time as soon as possible. 9 more short weeks to go!

Take Care!

Progressing Well - 27 weeks 3 days!

I went to the Doctor on Monday afternoon and thankfully got to hear the babies heart beats. The ultra sound results were discussed and I was told that the babies are both growing. My blood-pressure is fine but I forgot to ask what the results were from my glucose test. I assume all is ok since the Doctor was reading all the papers in my file as he was chatting with me.

My Doctor is very happy with how my pregnancy is progressing. On the weight gain front, I have gained about 10 pounds. These two are taking all the calories from me, it seems! Don't get me wrong, you can see that I am VERY pregnant. It's just all in my belly.

The thing is I am very tired and find it hard to work full time and be a good wife and mama. So, I asked the doctor what he thought about the work situation, and he advised me to keep at it for another three to four weeks, which doesn't seem completely unreasonable.

I got most of my x-mas shopping done over the weekend. Costco had a great selection of toys and The Choldren's Place had a huge 30% off everything sale. We just have to buy for our son and our parents. Stathis usually gets his stocking, a big gift from us and a big gift from Santa. I'm waiting to see what he puts on his wish list.

The nursery is our next big project and we have to buy the babies their car seats/carriers and stroller. We also have to visit my cousin who is loaning us a cradle and giving me her swing and high chair and exer-saucer. And then, we will be just about ready for these two little ones to join the craziness that is our lives. I can't wait! (I mean, I can wait - please stay in until 37 weeks!!!) but I can't wait - you know what I mean.

Some things I am loving right now that aren't related to pregnancy: The X-Factor! Anyone else watching it? I love everything about the show - the judges, the contestents, the fighting. Real Housewives of New Jersey! Jersey Shore! (I have no idea why I like these shows - as I watch them I tell myself to stop, but I can't!) and my new Keurig machine. It makes the best coffee! And yes, I sill have one cup a day - the rest are decaf!

Take Care!

26 Weeks 4 Days...

Well folks, we have made it to 26 weeks and 4 days so far!!! I am growing each day and feeling like I could sleep morning, noon and night. Also am very hungry, trying to nourish myself with healthy stuff but I would be lying if I said I can walk away from cookies and potato chips!!!

I had an ultrasound Tuesday morning and hearing their little heart beats is the sweetest sound in the universe. The technician took a long time, and she couldn't really tell me much as the results have to come from the doctor but she was smiling for most of it so I am praying everything is ok and that they are growing. The next ultrasound is booked for November 8th when I will be 29 weeks. I will go see my OB on Monday to follow up.

Life has been pretty crazy for us - we are still setting up our new house - hanging up artwork, light fixtures, mirrors in the bathrooms - the list goes on and on and on. And the laundry is never ending as we have no sod and our little dude is loving going out and playing in the dirt and getting filthy.

My parents are next door and they are busy trying to unpack and set up as well. They need our help too so it's just generally a nutty time. Thankfully, they have had some good friends come over to help them unpack so they are starting to feel somewhat settled in their new house. Our Little Dude certainly enjoys having his Yia Yia and Pappou right next door. When he gets bored at our place, he announces he's going to hang out with his Grandparents. Too Cute!

Speaking of Little Dude, he turned 5 on Monday. We rented a gymnastics place on Sunday and he had his birthday party there. Little Dude loved his party and told us he "Certainly appreciated" all that we did for him. It was so sweet. It was tough to get through a celebration without Chris being there, but Diane came down with Evan for the weekend and Evan had such a blast with our little dude. It's just a shame that Chris can't see how close they've become and how much these two little cousins love each other. When we got home we opened presents and my house has been invaded by Lego. He actually told all my cousins and friends he wanted Lego! What a sneak!!

We are heading to Niagara to help Diane pack up the house this weekend, and she managed to buy a place 5 minutes from her parents and about half an hour from us so at least that will all be taken care of before her new baby is born in early December. The house she bought is about 10 years old and needs some minor work so my Dad has offered to do the renovations for her but she's not planning on moving in until she feels ready - which could be winter or spring.

There isn't a day when I don't think of Chris and weep, but I am getting used to the reality of life without his physical presence here. And the new lives that are joining us give us reason to look forward to the months ahead.

I'll update again soon! Take Care,

24 Weeks

Things have been pretty mental for us the last little while. And I have a confession to make. I have become a sucky blogger and an even suckier follower. I read all the blogs on my blogroll daily but I haven't commented. So, even though you may think I have lost interest in your blog, you're wrong! I promise to start posting and commenting more often.

My parents have taken possession on their house next door but haven't moved in yet as my Dad is installing hardwood floors. I think they will be moved in by the end of next week. I will be a very happy woman when that happens. My parents are doing well considering they just lost their son. I am sure that they act strong in front of us but when they are alone I can only imagine their grief.

Diane, my brother's widow, (By the way, I seriously hate that word) sold their beautiful house so that she can move closer to us and to her parents. We will be helping her pack up later this month, which is going to be so very difficult because she hasn't touched any of Chris's things and wants to pack them and put them in storage until she decides what to do. It makes me so sad to think of the house being sold. He loved the house and did an amazing job working on it and was so looking forward to many years to come.

I find myself at times wondering if he's really gone. It all just seems so surreal that someone who was in the peak of his life could just die like that. I keep on expecting him to call or show up for Sunday lunch.

I didn't want this post to be all gloom and doom. I do find myself laughing most days with my friends, even with my parents and the rest of my family. It's just that there are moments where I recall the events of Chris's death like a video recording in my head and I just feel sad. For him, his wife, his kids, my parents and all his friends.

In terms of my pregnancy, things are progressing well. I am now 24 and a half weeks. I went to the Dr yesterday and heard each of the heart-beats. My blood pressure is fine and my urine was good. I am now starting to think that I should start buying some stuff. Over the weekend, I went to Pottery Barn Kids and bought Peter Rabbit bedding for both cribs. Next, the stroller and car seats will be needed and then bottles and layette. Luckily, I've been given an extra baby swing, high chair and play pen for them to sleep in.

I still can't believe there are 2 of them in my belly. I am definitely feeling very tired and I so wish I was a stay at home mom, but I have to work. I am hoping to work until the end of November and then to start my year long mat leave in December. I don't know how you Americans handle such short mat leaves!

Anyway, I'm glad everyone is doing well...take care

Gender Reveal...

Ah, my life. When it rains, it pours. We have moved into our new house. It has been a huge task unpacking and getting settled. We are working on it, but it's been very stressful.

Little dude went off to Senior Kindergarten last week and is having fun at his new school. Tom and I are both back at work, too. So, it's been crazy - unpacking, getting back to work, getting little dude off to work.

I went with Diane last week for my 20 week ultrasound. The babes look great. So, I guess I won't keep you all in suspense any longer. We are having a boy and a girl! I was over the moon when I found out! Will post a longer and more detailed version of my life and how we are all doing once we are settled...

Take Care!

Busy but Good

Things have been crazy for us. Tom had to move classrooms this year so we have been busy setting up his room. It takes so much time. We saw quite a few colleagues today and although it's hard being back at school because of all the questions about Chris, it feels good knowing that we will be going back to work.

Other than the class, we have been busy getting ready to take possession of the new house this Thursday! Yahoo! My Dad flies back from BC on Wednesday night - I'm giddy as I am typing this - I can't wait to see him! He will be settling into our place as he waits for my mom to return on the 14th of September and they will be with us until they get their house next door to us on October 6th.

As for my babies: my belly is growing!!! Still haven't felt the twins move yet but I hope to soon! I am now 18 weeks 2 days pregnant. Basically half-way there! I find I get tired pretty fast and I can't see my ankles - my feet are starting to swell which happened with my son, too. Can't wait to see the Dr on the 7th to make sure everything is ok with them!

I have to sign off as I am about to watch my new guilty pleasure - Bachelor Pad...

I promise to post pics soon...God Bless...

Drawing Strength

The last time I posted was around the time of Chris's 40 day memorial. It was very difficult for us all to get through but somehow we made it. There was a large crowd of family and friends who came and paid their respects and then we went out for lunch. As difficult as it was, I found the 40 day service very therapeutic.

Diane is now seeing a grief therapist and she's shared some of the things he has explained to her. When my mother returns from Vancouver, we will also start to see a grief therapist to help us make sense of the senseless. Some things that have been helpful for me are thinking about the difference between guilt and regret and knowing that the shock of Chris's death has sent us all into trauma, and that trauma and grief are also two very different things.

We now have nine days until the closing of our new house. I am very excited to move in and get my house set up to feel settled. I just can't wait to sleep in my own bed, in my own room, in my own house!!! My in-laws have been great, but there's no place like your own house!

Today I am taking Stathis to the Toronto Island with my best friend and her two little ones. They have little rides for them. It's really nice because the rides are designed for toddlers and little ones. I am also going to see an old friend from high school on Thursday who was close to both Chris and I so I am looking forward to that!

As for pregnancy, I promised myself with this pregnancy that I would document more and take pictures of my belly, etc. With Chris's death, I haven't really been thinking about the pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I am taking my vitamins, eating well and making sure I sleep, but it just hasn't been in the foreground of my thoughts.

So here is the pregancy update:

I am now 17 weeks and 3 days pregant with the twins!

I haven't gained any weight yet, in fact at my last check -up I was 2 pounds down. Between the naseua and Chris's death I had to force myself to eat. Now, the naseua is gone, but when I eat, I can't eat much as my stomach is pushed higher. So, I am trying to eat smaller, more frequent meals during the day. I have to wear maternity or yoga pants at all times. Every time I run my hands through my hair, some of it comes out. Don't get me wrong, I still have a head full of dark, long hair but I still am losing it! I haven't felt the babies yet, but occasionally I have a small, jumpy feeling that could be the babes or just indegestion.

All in all, I feel pretty good. I promise to post a pic soon!

40 day memorial...

It's been over a month since my wonderful brother passed away suddenly. It seems like it was just yesterday at times and at other times it feels like it's been forever. I am having a hard time adjusting to the fact that I will never hear his voice or see his beautiful eyes and smile again.

Tomorrow we are having a traditional 40 day memorial service for him in the Greek Church. Greek's have 40 day memorials because we believe that Christ stayed on Earth for 40 days after he was resurrected before he went to join God in the Kingdom of Heaven. So, we will pray for Chris to have a safe journey to Heaven. After the service we will serve koliva, which is boiled wheat mixed with berries and sweets, to symbolize the cycle of life, go the cemetery and then out for lunch.

My parents have joined my brother Tony and his family in Vancouver as we wait for our houses to be completed. Diane (Chris's wife) and I are here and trying to get through the days as best as we can. This is the hardest thing we have ever gone through. I find it so hard to find joy in anything, like I feel guilty. Does that make sense?

My husband and some friends took me away to Niagara Falls for 3 days to a water park and it was good to get away, I did have fun. I know I will never be the same person that I was before this happened...

On Wednesday I went to my obstetrician for my check-up. I am now almost 16 weeks pregnant with the twins and I got to hear both of their heart-beats, which was such a relief. My next appointment and ultra sound are booked for September 7th - that is when we will find out the genders of the babies. I can't wait for that!

We will be busy the next few weeks as we get possession of our house on August 25th, school starts September 1st and then we will be ramping up for the arrival of the twins. At least God gave me some stuff to keep busy with...

I hope you are all doing well and although I haven't commented, I have been reading all of your blogs faithfully...

God Bless...

A Tragic Death in the Family

Please do not think I have abandoned you or the blogs that I follow. It has taken me some time to write this post.

As most of my followers know, I have two older brothers. I am so saddened and heart-broken to tell you that on Saturday, July 2nd, 2011 my brother Christopher, aged 38 died suddenly after routine knee surgery. We found out that it was a pulmonary embolism after his autopsy.

He leaves behind his wife, Diane (33 years old), his beautiful son Evangelos (Evan - 2 years old) and a baby boy (Bryce) that will be born in December.

His death was so sudden and shocking. His funeral and burial took place in the days following his death and I can honestly say that the images of my parents faces and his wife's grief were the worst things I have ever seen in my life.

As you know, we are a very strong family and there were hundreds of people who came to his visitation and funeral. We are trying to adjust to the new reality of our lives without him as best as we can. Luckily, his wife and I are like sisters ourselves so we have been with each other since this happened. In fact, at around noon, I will go see her today to try to get her out of her house. She is having a hard time getting out but I know my brother would want her to be strong for his children. As simple as this sounds I know my brother would never in a million years want to leave his wife and his children.

I will try in the up-coming weeks to share more about how we have been doing as I would like to document as much as I can to share with my own children my memories of their amazing uncle.

I am now 15 weeks pregnant with the twins and they and my son Stathis are the reasons why I am able to get out of bed in the morning. I have decided that one of the twins will be named after him - we are still waiting on gender - but their is a Christopher or a Christina in my belly...

Please let your loved ones know how much they mean to you...God Bless

9 weeks 2 days

Well it's now been over a week since we found out we're expecting twins. So many people now know and are super excited. The most common comments are the following:

Are you excited or scared?
How have you been feeling?
Do you know if they are boys or girls?
Do twins run in your family?

In response to am I excited or scared, I am both. I've always walked around believing in the power of the universe and that if you want something bad enough and work hard enough for it, you will get it. That God won't put more on your plate than you can eat. Infertility really kicked my ass on that train of thought. For the two and half years we struggled with infertility I started to realize that some things were actually beyond my control. That sometimes, you just have to be happy with what you have (this was easier for me than other couples who struggle as we have one healthy son). That you have to trust God's timing.

So yes, after two and a half years of wanting nothing more than to be pregnant, to find out that I am expecting two babies blows my mind. I am excited to bring two more children into our lives and to shower them with love and to finally meet them. I am scared as to how we are going to survive breast-feeding, diaper changes and all the developmental milestones. I'm worried about how my little dude is going to feel once they come home. How am I going to keep my house organized? Will we actually be able to afford this? What about my marriage? Will Tom and I be ok?

I've been feeling ok, I am normally naseous in the morning. I haven't actually thrown up yet. My appetite has been significantly decreased. I HAVE to sleep when I get home from work. And I am usually out for the night by 9 at night. Oh but the worst is how constipated I am. I am actually going to seriously work on this starting tomorrow. I know my pre-natals plus the PIO shots are contributing to this. (last week of PIO shots, yay!) And of course, I have a cold which sucks in June. Even though I feel physically run down, I wouldn't trade any of these symptoms for anything!

We are definitely going to find out the gender of the babies. I want to be as prepared as possible for their arrival. A few of my colleagues are betting on 2 girls...but I don't really have a feeling about these two.

When people ask me if twins run in the family I am honest and tell them no, that we were having some trouble conceiving and were referred to a fertility specialist who obviously knew what she was doing. That usually satisfies most peoples curiosity and I feel like I am being truthful.

I am sorry that I haven't been blogging regularly - hubs is writing report cards and has been hogging the computer. I have a Dr's appointment on Monday so I hope to have some more news to share then!

Anniversary Gift!

This has been another crazy week at work. In Ontario, we assess Grade 6 and Grade 3 students in Literacy and Math, so for the last 2 weeks I have been scribing for students who need assistance with the test. Needless to say, I haven't been near a computer to update my blog.

Yesterday was our 10th wedding anniversary! It was also the day of my early pregnancy ultrasound at Dr. W's. I decided for whatever dumb reason to go by myself to this appointment. I was feeling pretty confident that the pregnancy was progressing due to the onset of nausea, food aversions and my intense need to sleep. So, off I go to the appointment with my full bladder.

The ultrasound tech first checked out my stomach and she was punching some stuff in the computer, then she told me to go pee and come back so she could do the internal ultrasound. Yay, I thought.

So, there I was, lying there for the internal and this is what went down:

Ultrasound lady: "Oh, look at that! There's two!"

Me: "Two what?"

Ultrasound lady: "Two babies"

Me: "Oh, shit!"

Ultrasound lady "Yes, there's two!"

Me: "Are their hearts beating?"

Ultrasound lady; "yes, here, take a look!"

And then she showed me my two little beans and I saw their little hearts going. I was literally in shock. I know, we did IVF and they put two embryos in, but I only know of one other couple who have IVF twins. The ultrasound lady chatted with me a bit more and then sent me on my was to see Dr W next door.

Dr. W went over everything with me. They are both measuring 7weeks5days, I am due January 22, their heart beats were 167 and 152. She went over a bunch of other stuff with me, which I frantically scribbled down in my notebook. I arrived for my appointment at 10:30 and left at 1:00.

On the way home, I stopped off at a kid's clothing store and bought hubs 2 baby onesies that say "My Dad Rocks" and bought little dude a shirt that says "Big Brother". Came home and told my in-laws who freaked out. Literally.

When hubs came home, I gave him the present and he couldn't believe it! We then sat little dude down and gave him his shirt and told him about the babies. He jumped into our arms because he was so excited and pulled up my shirt to look at my belly to see if he could see the babies.

I called my mom, my brothers, my friends and my cousins to let them all know. We had a barbecue for dinner and my dad came and so did hub's sister and brother in law - everyone was so excited. It was the best anniversary ever!!

Can you believe it? Twins! I am trying not to freak out!!!

Anxiety Ridden

Sorry for the delays in posting. Work has been mental this week and having no internet at home hasn't helped. We finally got the internet hooked up at my in laws and it looks like I will be back to blogging!

Not much new is going on, we have settled in here and it's been pretty good. On Monday night, I sort of had a little scare: almost spotting. I call it almost spotting because it was just that - I wiped and there were spots like the size of about 6 pinheads that were brown in colour. I told hubs and he reminded me that the same thing happened when I was pregnant with little dude. We googled it, and decided if it continued or got worse we would call the clinic. It happened again on Thursday night but nothing after that. Again, this happened last time so I am just hoping for the best.

I think the thing that is the most surprising with this pregnancy is how much anxiety I have. When we were struggling with infterility I thought if I could just get pregnant I would be fine, like a monkey would be off my back. But that's not the case...I am absolutely terrified that something can or will go wrong. And this sort of thinking is new to me. I know others feel this way...is this normal? I have been trying to do some meditating where I repeat positive phrases to myself and it has helped somewhat. Prayer also gives me a lot of peace.

Thursday morning at 10:30 is my first ultra sound. I have been telling people who know about the pregnancy that I will feel so much better once I have seen the heart beat. They look at me like I am sort of crazy, but it's the truth. I am also feeling very guilty that my head is in this pregnancy so much and not in my relationship with hubs or little dude. I feel like an island and I am really going to try to make the most of things. My mother in law and I were talking about this stuff this morning and she advised me that in her opinion, I have done everything I can to get pregnant and to just surrender and accept whatever is going to happen as God's will and to remember that my life is very blessed.

It's a rainy day in Toronto so little dude and I are going to snuggle and watch Aladdin and then later tonight I am off to see Bridesmaids with a girlfriend. I hope everyone else is doing well...

Still here!

I haven't been able to post for the last week! The move finally happened. We are settled in at my in-laws and things are going pretty well. The only thing is, we don't get our internet hooked up until Wednesday. I thought I would steal a few moments at work to post. I wasn't really able to participate in ICLW, but will try again in June.

As for the pregancy news, I went for another (4th) blood test yesterday and my HCG levels are where they should be. I've been feeling extremely tired and occasionally naseaus. My first ultrasound is scheduled for June 9th - which is also my 10th wedding anniversary...hopefully things will be all right.

It's so weird this time around. I thought if I got pregnant I would be so relieved. Now, I'm just a total worry wart. This infertility business definitely screws with your head!!!

I hope everyone else is doing well and I will definitely be back to commenting on Wednesday!!!

Update: Beta # 3 Results and the Move.

Hi Friends,

If you are here from ICLW, you can read our quest to conceive here.


Today in Ontario is a holiday. It's Victoria Day! We celebrate Queen Victoria's birthday by lighting fireworks. Or, if you happen to be me this year, you finish packing up your house, do some work for work and hang out at Starbucks to partake in ICLW!

Yesterday I went to the clinic again for blood test #3. After I left, my mother and I headed to my cousin's daughter's 5th birthday party. (Poor Tom stayed at the house to pack) It was at a farm with pony rides and a petting zoo. Little dude had so much fun with his cousins and buddies. I couldn't keep my new secret for too long - I told a couple of my cousins and a couple more friends, but I warned them that it was still super early. According to Dr. Google, I am only 5 weeks pregnant. While at the party, I got a call from Nurse J at the clinic.

The Beta number is well over 4000. I forget the exact number. She was really happy and told me that the number is more than doubling, which is what they like to see. She then told me to keep up the pio shots (ouch!), and to come back the clinic next Sunday for a 4th beta blood test. If that test shows that the pregnancy is looking good (please God!) then they will set up an ultra-sound in one or two more weeks. So, we won't have an ultra-sound until at least 2 weeks from now.

On the move front, we are almost finished packing. Hubs has given me a couple of hours this morning to do some work for work here at Starbucks. I will also be visiting some new blogs for ICLW - hee hee! My brother C came and got my Mom yesterday. She's staying with him, my 2 year old neephew and my pregnant sil for the month of June in Niagara Falls (about 2 hours away). My Dad is finishing off a basement for one of his clients so he will stay at our house with bare necesseties until May 30th when the new owners get possession of our house and then he will move in with my Aunt and Uncle while he finishes the basement. Then, Mom and Dad are off the Vancouver to visit my oldest brother T, sister in law and nephew for July and August.

We all get our brand new houses at the end of the summer! So excited!

Last night we slept at the in-laws for the first time. Little Dude is having a ball. My in-laws are amazing. My mil is very amazing person. I will write a post about her soon. So, hubs is packing, I'm writing, baby is cooking, Little Dude is with Yia Yia and Pappou and we just may get everything done to enjoy those fireworks!

Take care, everyone!

May ICLW

Welcome to my blog. If you want to read about our quest to conceive, please go here.

I am thrilled to write that I am currently pregnant with baby #2 thanks to the wonders of modern science, aka IVF. I only found out on Wednesday so it's still early.

My life is a little bit crazy at the moment, as we are moving on Tuesday. For three months, we will be living with my in-laws (stay tuned - should be very entertaining reading) and then at the end of August we get possession of our new house, which is right next door to my parents.

Yes, if you saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding, it really does happen. We do like to live close to each other!

I probably won't be commenting that much today and tomorrow but I will be catching up on Monday! Have a fabulous weekend, everyone!

Awkward and Beta 2 Results

Still feeling like this is all surreal. If you ever were to meet me in real life, I am a very outgoing person. I am the person who can talk to anyone at a party. I love hearing people's life stories and I like making people feel comfortable in my presence. So, when I started to going to Dr. W's office over a year ago, I made friends with all the ultra-sound techs, the blood lab techs, the nurses, the receptionist and of course, Dr w. I even made friends with women in the waiting room. See, I just don't understand why women don't talk to each other at Infertility Clinics. We are all sisters, all in this fight together.

It shouldn't have surprised me then, when I walked in, everyone was there as usual. But this time, it was like I was Norm on Cheers. Everyone was congratulating me, hugging me and asking me how I was feeling. I felt so uncomfortable. All I could think about were the women and men who were sitting in the chairs waiting to be called in for blood, ultrasound, or their appointment. Nurse L actually grabbed Nurse M, who was with a patient and interrupted her to tell her my news. Nurse M hugged me, and again, I felt really bad for the patient she was with.

I just want everyone who reads this blog to know that I haven't and never will forget how it feels to be waiting for that BFP, how it feels to wait in that chair in that clinic. For such a long time, I lurked at blogs because I thought that since I already had a child I couldn't really be considered infertile. With all of your struggles and journeys I started to realize I was, in fact, infertile, not alone and that there was hope at the end of the tunnel. It pains me to write my joyful news knowing that some of my friends are still fighting.

For those of you who are number junkies, today's Beta # is 1483, which is very promising, according to Nurse L. I go back for more bloodwork on Sunday.

Long Version of the BFP

I decided to post this as my bathroom blurb from yesterday was way too anti-climactic for my liking, but I didn't have time - it was a crazy day at school and last night was the Welcome to Kindergarten Workshop for new students and parents. Can you believe last night and tonight I have to work until at least 8pm? Kill me!

Anyway, back to yesterday. I had a very fitful sleep and then woke up bright and early to get showered and ready. I seemed to be moving in slow motion. I kept telling myself to hurry up. When I finally got in my car, it was pouring rain, and I realized it would take me a while to get to the clinic. I finally arrived, signed in, sat down and the tech, Maria promptly called me to take my blood.

Maria and I are buddies. We always laugh about my small veins, she loves to see pictures on my iphone of little dude and she always tells me to stay positive. I sat down in the chair and she took my blood and told me she was nervous for me. Her fingers were crossed, and she actually got teary eyed, which caused me to start crying. I told her I would be ok no matter what, and she told me that the Dr or Nurse L would call me around lunch time. A quick hug, and I left.

I arrived at Lord E, one of my favourite of the 4 schools I work at and planted myself in the library. The librarian and I were seeing a variety of classes and I had agreed to co-teach with her. Now, the librarian is also my good buddy Kim. I like to call her sis, because that's how close we are. I told her I was going to get the call and she replied as follows: "Well dude, I'm your good luck charm, because 12 years ago, when Shelly was a teacher (she's now a VP at Tom's school) she got the call from the same clinic that she was pregnant. I laughed.

I was therefore surprised when my iphone rang at 9:30 with Dr W's office # on it. It was Nurse L. She asked me how I was, and then asked me why I left the clinic without stopping by the lab to say hi to her. I told her there was alot of traffic and I had to get back to work. She then asked me what I was taking. I told her the pio shots, my pre-natal vitamin, and some other vitamins that I take. She then asked me if I was near a chair to sit down. I sat down. She then said, "congratulations, my dear, you are very pregnant!" I literally started freaking out - she told me to calm down, drive slowly to go tell Tom and to keep taking my vitamins and to go back on Friday for more blood work. Also, she had already told Dr W, who was with patients, but sent her congrats.

I ran back into the library and Kim was doing a reading lesson with the grade ones. She looked up, nervous as could be. I told her I just got the call, and she was indeed a good luck charm. She put the book down, told the kids to talk and ran over to me to hug me. We were both crying. I told her I had to go tell Tom.

I drove down the road to Tom's school, ran to his class, only to discover it was empty as it was recess. I waited for the bell and finally him and the kids arrived in the class. I looked at him and yelled, "It worked!!!" I could see the relief all over his face. He told the kids to start reading and stepped into the hallway. Tears in his eyes, he looked at me and said two words" Thank God!" We chatted a few more minutes and then I ran back to school.

In the meantime I called my mom and my mother in law who both totally freaked out.

I have a busy day at work again and then I go for bloodwork tomorrow. This just all feels so surreal. It's really unbelievable. I have so many reflections that I want to write but I will save those for when I have more time.

I am so grateful for everyone's supportive comments. I know I have a long way to go still but I really think this is the year that our dreams will come true!

Good news!

I am blogging from my iPhone, in the bathroom at work. I got the call about an hour ago.

BFP!!!

Beta number 608! I go back for more bloodwork on Friday!

T-36 hours to Beta

So, I still have not peed on a stick, and I am 10 days past my 5 day transfer. In short, I am going crazy and although I know there are worse things to go through than IVF, I still wish us infertiles could just get pregnant the good old fashioned way.

I was doing ok, thinking positively and all that stuff and then for some bizarre reason yesterday I lost my mind. I basically told my family I wasn't feeling well and asked hubs to play with little dude while I went upstairs to our room to lie down. We have a tv in our room and I put it on TLC, hoping for Say Yes to the Dress. It wasn't on, but Hoarders was. I have never watched that show. I sat riveted for an hour. As I was watching it, I could feel my anxiety level rising. I am a super anal type A personality. I secretly enjoy the fact that my house is the neatest and most organized of all my friends. My brothers think I have a sickness, but hey. I like a clean and organized house.

So, back to Hoarders. As I was watching it, I could actually feel my anxiety level rise. But, instead of going downstairs and convincing my mom to go see Bridesmaids with me, I continued watching it. It was sick. I have never seen people so attached to mountains of stuff. I am the girl who cleans her closet out twice a year. And then, somewhere in my anxiety infused state, I convinced myself my period was coming.

I turned the tv off after Hoarders (my own real life nightmare) and started crying my eyes out. My Mom came in my room to check on me and promptly alerted hubs that I was in melt-down mode. Hubs promptly convinced me to go for a drive with him. I was a blubbering mess while trying to explain that I was going to get my period. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: I'm getting my period, I know it.

Hubs: How do you know?

Me: I don't know, I just feel it.

Hubs: Like, how? Are you crampy or whatever? What happens when you get your period?

Me: Well, I usually get cramps and a pain in the small of my back and then I start to spot and then I get me period.

Hubs: Ok. So is anything like that happening?

Me: No! But I know it's coming!!!

Hubs: What's wrong?

Me: I'm scared. All that money and effort and it hasn't worked.

Hubs: So what? What can we do? We gave it our best shot. It's beyond our control at this point. We did all that we could and that's the end of it.

And just like that, I was ok.

When I went to bed last night, I felt the AF like cramps and talked myself off the ledge. This morning I was what you would call a cramp festival. I really felt like this was it, my period was coming. I went to the bathroom, and discovered that I was constipated! When I finally did go, I wiped and there was something sort of like spotting, but then it hasn't shown up for the rest of the day. Also, after the bm, there was no cramping or back ache...and it's now 8pm. So, I think the cramps were just constipation? Could that really be?

Who knows what any of this means. I have felt very tired and moody. And I have had some pretty messed up dreams. I broke down at work today and started crying, but then promptly got my shit together because I was at work, not in my room watching Hoarders.

Ultimately, I have decided not to pee on a stick. While this decision is driving me crazy, I just think at this point in the game another 24 hours won't kill me. It will drive me crazy but I can't bear to look at a HPT. I just want the phone call from Nurse L or Nurse M giving me good news or bad news. And then I will face another day on this planet, feeling like I won the lottery or knowing that I will have another brick wall to get over.

8dp5dt and The Weekend

Well folks, I made it through the first week of the two week wait from hell. Here we are, it's the weekend, and the countdown to Beta on Wednesday morning is on. I went back to work on Thusrday and Friday and talked to a couple of friends at work and they are all against me peeing on a stick. My friend Sue pretty much talked me out of it. She advised me to save my $20 and to just wait for the beta on Wedndesday morning. She had a million reasons why I should wait and since she's a successful IVF veteran, I decided to take her advice.

So, I'm just trying to stay positive. I am still relatively symptom-free, except for some bloat and the occasional cramping. Oh, and man oh man am I ever hungry!!!Hopefully, the weekend will pass by fairly fast...

We are moving next weekend so today and tomorrow I will be busy sorting out the final things that we have to pack. Also, they started building the new house. We are moving in with my in-laws for three months while the new house is being built. I am getting very excited about the new house, as my parents bought the house next door to us. My parents will be spending June, July and August split up between my brother's houses.

So, that's about it! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

5dp5dt - Not so wordless...

I know. In the blogoshpere, it's supposed to be Wordless Wednesday. But I am excused because I am still in the two week wait from hell.

Today is 5dp5dt. I went to the clinic this morning to get my progesterone checked. While at the clinic, I chatted with a few of the nurses and they were really sweet, happy to see me, hugging me, fingers crossed, etc. I showed Nurse M the bruises and lumps on my back-side and she told me unfortunately they are pretty normal. She circled the entire area on both sides that hubs can inject me so he now has some new real estate for injecting! Good Times!

They called about an hour after I left and my progesterone is at 58. I know nothing about this sort of stuff so I asked Nurse M if that was ok. She explained anything over 40 is good so just keep up with the pio shots. Lovely. She did say if the pg test comes back positive Dr W may switch me to suppositories. Whoever would have thought the day would come when I would blog this sort of stuff. The things infertility does to us - sheesh.

In other news, I have to go to the post office to change our mailing address since we are moving at the end of May. But, the post office is in the local drug mart. And you know what they sell in drug stores, right? Home pregnancy tests. And I am not the POAS maniac that I know some of us here in the blogoshpere are. I am the other type. I am the anti-peer. I don't want to know. Am I nuts? I am so scared. My Beta is scheduled for Wednesday morning.

Here is the plan for testing. On Monday night, I will go to said drug store and I will change our mailing address. I will also purchase 2 pregnancy tests. One for Tuesday morning (24 hours before beta) and one for Wednesday morning (Beta). The reason is that I want to be prepared. Sounds weird, right? I know. I just don't want to test too early and spend the days up to Beta all depressed.

When I was pg with little dude, I had one of those pregnancies where I had no symptoms. I threw up once because I ate an egg salad sandwich and then lifted a heavy box. But that was it. So I am not a symptom person, even though I have spent the better part of the last 5 days on google analyzing every pang, twinge and fart. No joke.

That's today's update. Tomorrow I go back to work. I will be happy to be at work and getting my mind off of this.

Take Care Everyone!

4dp5dt

Yesterday was much better than Sunday, I find laughing is the best way to make it through the two week wait. I am now 4 days past the 5 day transfer and there's not much to report. The two week wait is so anti-climactic in a way. All those shots and side effects, daily ultra-sounds, egg retrieval and then embryo transfer and then - BAM! You are on your own with all your thoughts and fears allowed to have time to come to the surface.

While the internet has totally been a blessing for me up to this point, it's actually becoming my Achilles heel. I find myself googling symptoms to see if I am where I should be, which the logical part of me knows is ridiculous since no two women are alike and neither are their pregnancy symptoms. I just feel a little bloated, my boobs look humongous (they hurt sometimes), my lower back hurts at times, I have the occassioanl cramping, and yesterday my right ovary was twinging of and on all afternoon. Whether this means anything or not - who knows?

Today all I feel is the bloat, my ta-ta's look huge and I've got the lower back pain. Oh, and where my dh injects the PIO feels very tender and bruised. Anyway, I have decided to stop over-analyzing everything and to just take this day by day. I've been doing my Circle and Bloom meditations, talking to the embies and snuggling a lot with DS.

The best thing to keep my mind off all of this, however, is laughter. So I will be
trying to laugh out loud today while I park it in my bed and on the couch. There must be some funny shows on!

Take care of yourselves, we will make it through this struggle!

As I try not to go crazy...

So, as you know, we had the transfer on Friday. I came home, slept and basically parked it on the couch and in my bed for the rest of the day. Saturday I did go out with hubs and little dude and we shopped for an hour and then the rest of the day was spent pretty much with my butt on the couch or in bed. I was feeling pretty calm, cramping sometimes, weird twinges, etc.

The clinic called and 3 embryos made it to freeze, which I was happy about.

Yesterday, however, was a different beast. I woke up with the horrible feeling that the embryos weren't going to stick and I started feeling really stressed out about it. I ended up snapping at my brother when he called me to wish me a happy mother's day and at my mom. We then went to my SIL's for lunch where I rudely googled every symptom imaginable for 2dp5dt like a psycho on my iphone. This all felt very normal while I was doing it.

We got home around 4 and as I lay on the couch I snapped at my mom again and then I just started bawling like a freak of nature. I just started spewing all the stuff I thought I was over - that it wasn't going to work, that my body is failing me, that I am being punished, etc. My mother calmed me down and ordered me up to my room like I was 12 to listen to Circle and Bloom, which I did. I then fell asleep until 7, came downstairs to find hubs and little dude watching Tangled.

My parents had gone out for dinner with my godparents and they came back around 8. Somewhere in this time, I made peace with my demons. I have literally shut them out of my mind and I am going to assume that I am PUPO! I am going to stay positive during this 2WW and focus on all the good stuff in my life.

We had dessert and chatted and when it was bedtime hubs suggested that little dude sleep with me in our bed. This was the best suggestion ever. I snuggled up to him and was finally at peace. These are the things I want to remember in this 2WW...

My son is healthy.
I am madly in love with my husband (poor guy!)
My parents are healthy.
I love my friends and family.
I love my job.
I'm a pretty healthy person (aside from the 35 pounds I should lose!).

Anyway, I hope everyone else had a good Mother's Day - the day is terribly stressful for so many of us and I am praying that all of our dreams come true in the next year.

Today my plan is to make some fabulous oatmeal for breakfast and my bff Erica is coming over for dinner. With Mom, we are making spaghetti, watching the Y & R and Dancing With The Stars and analyzing The Royal Wedding.

I hope everyone else has a great day!

IVF Update - Embryo Transfer!

Everything went down as scheduled. I got to the clinic bright and early (7:30). My Dad had to drive me to the clinic for the transfer because my husband absolutely could not miss work today. He felt really bad about it, but I was ok with it - his nerves play on mine...

Anyway, the transfer was pretty smooth. The babies are inside my womb, rather than in the petri dish, which they gave me as a souvenir. They were both 5 day blastocysts...I hope they like their new home and snuggle right in! We really want to meet them in 39 weeks!!!

On another note, the ultra sound tech said something that really made me feel good. She asked if I had a c-section and I told her I did (it was an emergency) when I had little dude. I've often wondered if scarring from the c-section could be why I couldn't get pregnant again, but she told me in all her years, mine was the best scar she'd ever seen. Apparently it's pretty small and healed on the inside very well.

And now, my feet are up and I am entering the wait from hell. Beta test is scheduled for May 18th...we'll see if I last that long!

I hope everyone else is doing well!

Final Embryo Update

Today Dr W's office received the final embryo report before transfer.

We are down to 16 embryos. Of the 16, 3 are growing slow, 10 are right on track and 3 are growing fast (at 9+ cells).

I can't believe how stressed I was listening to Nurse M's message. I was actually shaking as I scribbled everything down to share with hubs tonight.

Tomorrow morning I go to Dr W's for ultra sound (for my uterine lining) and then Friday at 8am I have the transfer...

Things are progressing much better than I expected. I just need to keep calm for Friday and the days after. I can't believe that we actually have a realistic shot at bringing home a baby and completing our family. In the two + years we have been trying, I haven't gotten pregnant, so just knowing that hubs' sperm and my egg have met and mingled is progress.

In other news, work is crazy and I think I'll be working on some stuff for tonight for work for next week. After transfer, I plan on lying down for 5 days to help the embies stick! So that means that I won't be at work on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday...

Now I need to catch up on some blogs and see how everyone else is doing!

Embryo Update for Tuesday

I received a voice mail about 11:30 this morning from Nurse M. Here is the breakdown:

Of the 22 from yesterday, 4 arrested. That means they didn't make it. And I quote Nurse M. She is very serious about all of this.

Of the 18 remaining, 11 are growing slowly. They are only at 2 cells and the lab will continue to monitor them.

5 are right on target at 3-4 cells

2 are 5 cells, moving ahead of the rest of the pack.

So, 7 are where they should be...is this good? Bad? I am worrying about them. I want to go and sit on them like a hen and keep them warm and tell them to grow!!!

I need to relax about all of this, I know. No one told me how worried I would be. The clinic we are with believes pretty much exclusively on 5 day transfers of blastocyts. Tomorrow we get the final report and then Thursday I go for an ultrasound of my lining...Friday is transfer day!

In other news, hubs injected me this morning with progesterone. It hurt, I bled, we yelled at each other. Things can only go up from here!

I am trying to not shut myself off from the rest of the world. There was an election yesterday and I voted, I am cooking up a storm and immersing myself in work. Tonight I am packing up some of my kitchen cupboards. Oh, and tuning in to Dancing With The Stars to see who gets voted off.

Take Care, everyone!

Embryo Update

Today, I took the day off work as I'm extremely sore in my abdomen. I feel like how I felt after my c-section with little dude. I went to the clinic this morning to pick up and learn how to inject the progesterone in oil.

When I arrived, Nurse L was so happy to see me. She told me they just got the fax from the lab and 22 of the eggs fertilized! It really looks like this is going to happen. I am in a state of shock. I had difficulty sleeping last night as I was so worried about this whole process. Please God, let us bring home a baby to complete our family...

I hope everyone is doing well, I am praying for all of us...

Retrieval Update

Well, we made it! We woke up bright and early to be at the clinic for 8am. When we arrived, I was ushered into a private waiting room with my very own lazy boy recliner and then promptly hooked up to an iv. Dr W arrived a little late, as a marathon caused some road closures in the city. Soon, we were in Procedure Room A.

I had a lovely nurse to coach me along, the ultra-sound lady, the nurse holding the tubes and the vials and of course, Dr W. Poor hubs was given a seat at the back of the room where he could catch a glimpse of the lab. They showed me the ultra sound screen as they pulled the eggs out. Thanks to the drugs, I was very relaxed, even cracking jokes.

And guess what? They retrieved 25 of them. Just call me Marianne The Hen.

Of course, some of them were very, very small so obviously they won't all be fertilized. After a brief stint in the recovery room, hubs was ushered to his room to produce the goods. He was very fast. I was impressed with his finesse. He explained the room was equipped with aids.

A little while later they came to tell us the sample was great, with a great count and great motility.

We left and on the drive home stopped in Greek Town for spanakopita and coffee. Came home, and I've been sleeping off and on all day.

Hopefully our babies are growing right now at the lab! Will keep you posted as I get the updates from the nurses. Tomorrow I am going to Dr W's for training of progesterone shots. But the best part of today is nooooooo injections!!!

Hope everyone else is doing well and had a good weekend!

IVF Update for Friday and Saturday

Ok, so here's where we're at. Yesterday I was at the clinic for blood and ultra sound. My 18 follicles are all somewhere between 1.1 (only 1 of those) and 2.1. Surprisingly, I am not feeling very bloated. I don't have much of an appetite and was pretty exhausted and achy all week. Yesterday, after my blood results came in, Nurse L called me to tell me to trigger at 9pm, and to do one last injection of gonal f and lupron. Retrieval is scheduled for Sunday at 9am!

I am so happy to not have to do any more injections! And I can't get my head around the fact that on Sunday, they are going to make our babies outside of our bodies! How crazy is that?! My personal goal is to get 6 - 2 to transfer and 4 to freeze. We'll see if we get there...

In other news I am off to my cousin's wedding today. She's marrying an Italian guy, so the food should be awesome...little dude is doing well, and my poor husband has been really, really awesome during all of this. Did you see the Royal Wedding? I thought it was lovely...loved her dress and all the pomp and circumstance....

Have a great weekend everyone, and I'll post after retreival!

IVF Update

18 follies, injection of gonal f and lupron tonight. Tomorrow morning back for blood and ultra-sound. The nurse, dr and even the receptionist were so cute today. They are all so pleased that I've responded as well as I have. Tomorrow night is trigger time! Sunday is the retreival!

Thanks for all the support, I really appreciate it! Your positive encouragement and my circle and bloom sessions have been really helpful. Off to bed now...(yawn)

Wordless Wednesday

Welcome ICLW! If you want to read our ttc history, please click here.

I know around the blogosphere we're supposed to only post a picture on Wednesday but I kind of suck at that sort of thing. So, I will keep this short and sweet.



This is my little dude. The love of my life and the cheese to my macaroni. See why I want another one?

Secondly, we are still at 18 eggs. Still exhausted. Still injecting. Will go tomorrow for blood and ultra-sound and hopefully trigger within the next 48 hours.

Easter, Update and Awards!

Welcome! If you are visiting from ICLW, please read our TTC history here.

Easter:

I hope everyone had an enjoyable Easter. We were very blessed with lots of food, family, friends and chocolate. On Saturday I was feeling terrible. I slept most of the day away but started to feel better later in the evening so we all got dressed and went to midnight mass. It was the first time little dude has stayed up late enough for the candle lighting ceremony at Church. He loved it. After church, we went to my mother in laws for the lamb soup and to crack eggs. On Sunday we went to my mother in laws again for the lamb on the spit. I had a funny feeling stuff was going on because I feel exactly like I felt when I was pregnant the first trimester with little dude.

I called my Godmother yesterday to wish her a happy Easter. Her and my Godfather never had children as my Godfather suffered with MFI. They decided to live child-free. I explained to her what I was going through with this IVF business and she got really choked up. Her advice: never give up. So I'm taking it.

IVF Update:

In short, I am exhausted. Sleep is my new best friend. I went to the clinic this morning and I now have 18 follicles and they are all growing, slowly but surely. Nurse L was very happy with the results (she told me the number of follies and their sizes but I can't remember exactly) and as of now, I will go back to the clinic on Wednesday for more blood and ultra sound. Waiting for the clinic to call with the blood results...Grow eggies! I am very happy about all of this and I don't think I could be here without all of my blogger friends...so thanks for all of your support!

Award:

So, I was awarded by several of my bloggy buds for this award:



Thanks Bridget, Krissi, and T! If you haven't visited their blogs, you totally should! I love them!

So, here's how it works:


1.Winners grab the image and put it in your blog.
2.Link back to the person who gave you it.
3.Tell 10 things about yourself
4.Award 15 recently discovered bloggers.
5.Contact the bloggers you have awarded to let them know they have won.


10 things about me:

1. I cannot get a tan. I spent most of my teenage years trying, but my pale skin only burns and doesn't really go brown. This really bothers me as a Greek as I don't have that typical olive complexion, I'm actually very pale.
2. I have watched The Young and The Resless since I was about 8. So almost 30 years!
3. I am gearing up to celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary (June 9th!)
4. I usually have to start the day off with a coffee, but have gone off it thanks to this IVF business.
5. I have 2 older brothers. Therefore, I don't take a lot of crap from people. I am very quick witted thanks to them.
6. I have a very loud laugh, and I snort. I've been told it's contagious.
7. I am not a shy person, but I am insecure.
8. I married my best friend.
9. I need to lose about 30 pounds.
10. I love to dance, but I hate going to the gym.

Here are my nominees for the versatile blogger award: (sorry, these are not all recently discovered but I love them!)

Lisa at The Pursuit of Pregnancy

Marilyn at Trying to Conceive
Jay at The Two Week Wait
Angela at Will Train for Cream Cheese Icing
Carmela at Lost in Translation (We say IVF, they say FIV)

Ok - that's only 5, but I am seriously tired!

Hope everyone else is doing ok!

Holy Saturday and IVF Update

Welcome! If you are here visiting from ICLW, you can read about our ttc history here.

Yesterday was a pretty busy day. At about 6pm, I started feeling really exhausted, but thought it was just due to the business of the day. This morning when I woke up, I was feeling woozy and feverish. Went to the clinic for blood and ultrasound...my 16 follicles are still there, with three emerging as the front runners. Came home, and took a nap. I'm still feeling very hazy, not sure if it's the hormones or if I've caught a bug. After this post, little dude and I will take a nap because I want to go take him to church tonight for the midnight mass.

Nurse M called around 2pm to tell me to continue with the 225 gonal f and 0.05 lupron, and I go back Monday morning for blood and ultra-sound again. So, that's where I'm at.

After church, we will go to my mother in laws for soup (myeritsa) - it's a lamb soup and to crack eggs. Tomorrow we go back to the in-laws for lamb on the spit. I am really looking forward to all of the festivities!

Take Care, everyone! I am off for my much needed nap!

Good Friday

Welcome, if you are here from ICLW, you can read about our TTC journey here.

Here we are, and today is Good Friday. I love the Church services today and will be going twice, in the afternoon with hubs and little dude and then in the evening by myself, for the lamentations mass. I love the evening mass tonight. It feels so mystical at Church this week, and I love how refreshing Holy Week is. It seems to give me some sort of battery-boost in the faith department.

We took our god-daughters their Easter candles (lambades) and new shoes yesterday. They are both 6 and absolutely adorable. They loved their new shoes and were both running around wearing them. I told my two friends about our current IVF cycle and they were both ultra-supportive. We had a great time.

Just wanted to let everyone know that I will be at Church today praying for all of us. Tomorrow I go to the clinic again for blood and ultra-sound, so I should have an IVF update. Grow, eggies!

Infertility and Egg Island

Wow. I can't believe it's the 21st of April. Time is just a-flyin'! If it's your first time here and you are from ICLW please read our TTC history here.

This week, it feels like I have been living on an island that is all about infertility and eggs...

Infertilty:
Firstly, one of the teachers I work with (we'll call her L) has been trying to have a second baby for about 4 years now and we had a meeting on Tuesday afternoon and ended up just talking about our infertility. It felt so good to find someone IRL who feels the exact same things I do. I felt like I was coming out of the closet. I keep my IF business pretty private. I think friends and family know that something is going on, but don't know all the details because the people who are in my "circle of trust" keep pretty tight lipped about it.

Secondly, yesterday I got a message on FB that a friend of a friend (we'll call her E) sent me a message. E is suffering with IF. She has had 2 miscarriages and has been diagnosed with a unicorneate uterus. She sent me the link to 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility, told me it's cheered her up in her darkest moments and made her feel like she's not crazy. So it seems that I have my own little IRL infertility club happening!

Eggs:
In Egg news, I've got eggs everywhere I go. In a meeting with teachers this week, I learned what oviparous means. I also shared with my son a cadbury creme egg. We are colouring Easter Eggs tonight, and I am growing a bunch for sure. Last night, I had the unmistakable shifting and pain happening in my ovaries that means some stuff is going on down there.

Happy Thursday, everyone!