So, as you know, we had the transfer on Friday. I came home, slept and basically parked it on the couch and in my bed for the rest of the day. Saturday I did go out with hubs and little dude and we shopped for an hour and then the rest of the day was spent pretty much with my butt on the couch or in bed. I was feeling pretty calm, cramping sometimes, weird twinges, etc.
The clinic called and 3 embryos made it to freeze, which I was happy about.
Yesterday, however, was a different beast. I woke up with the horrible feeling that the embryos weren't going to stick and I started feeling really stressed out about it. I ended up snapping at my brother when he called me to wish me a happy mother's day and at my mom. We then went to my SIL's for lunch where I rudely googled every symptom imaginable for 2dp5dt like a psycho on my iphone. This all felt very normal while I was doing it.
We got home around 4 and as I lay on the couch I snapped at my mom again and then I just started bawling like a freak of nature. I just started spewing all the stuff I thought I was over - that it wasn't going to work, that my body is failing me, that I am being punished, etc. My mother calmed me down and ordered me up to my room like I was 12 to listen to Circle and Bloom, which I did. I then fell asleep until 7, came downstairs to find hubs and little dude watching Tangled.
My parents had gone out for dinner with my godparents and they came back around 8. Somewhere in this time, I made peace with my demons. I have literally shut them out of my mind and I am going to assume that I am PUPO! I am going to stay positive during this 2WW and focus on all the good stuff in my life.
We had dessert and chatted and when it was bedtime hubs suggested that little dude sleep with me in our bed. This was the best suggestion ever. I snuggled up to him and was finally at peace. These are the things I want to remember in this 2WW...
My son is healthy.
I am madly in love with my husband (poor guy!)
My parents are healthy.
I love my friends and family.
I love my job.
I'm a pretty healthy person (aside from the 35 pounds I should lose!).
Anyway, I hope everyone else had a good Mother's Day - the day is terribly stressful for so many of us and I am praying that all of our dreams come true in the next year.
Today my plan is to make some fabulous oatmeal for breakfast and my bff Erica is coming over for dinner. With Mom, we are making spaghetti, watching the Y & R and Dancing With The Stars and analyzing The Royal Wedding.
I hope everyone else has a great day!
Quads turn 2!
6 years ago
Sorry I've been MIA. I hope everything is going great and I hope your 2ww flies by!!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling better. Im glad you let it all out though. It helps to speak it sometimes. Stay positive. Sending lots of love and prayers your way!!! Hugs
ReplyDeleteI am glad you had a release and are feeling a bit happier. The 2ww is so hard!! Sounds like you have some great support though.
ReplyDeleteOh my, I felt exactly like that (snapping and almost losing it) on Saturday morning. Unfortunately (for me) there was no-one to snap at except my toddler, who was having a bit of a difficult morning (or maybe it was just me). Now the calm has returned, but I'm basically thinking it didn't work. 2WWs are so damn hard. I will try to pick up your positive vibe though!
ReplyDeletethe 2ww is a cruel mind game. i'm sorry it's hitting you so hard. i really hope they stick! and yay for having some frozen embies, too! :) crossing everything for you!
ReplyDeleteoh gosh..I have had a few mini breakdowns as well. Last night my mom said I was acting like I was 8! Ahh...I hate it when they are right!! I am glad you are feeling more positive. This 2ww after ivf is awful!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I don't know of anything better to watch during the day to help get your mind off the 2WW than Y&R!
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