The Homefront Battles

Now that I am off of work, things are supposed to be better at home, right? Here were some of the things I naively thought were going to happen once my doctor wrote me off work:

My house would be cleaner. Ha! This is a joke. First of all, the outside of our house looks like a mud slide. My front foyer is all dirty no matter how often I try to keep it clean. And add to the mix a 5 year old boy and all he wants to do is run and splash in the mud puddles. That leads to more and more laundry...

My laundry would be all put away. Another snort. First of all, I can hardly keep up with all of the laundry. Tom is a teacher and Stathis is in kindergarten so between the two of them, everything they wear has to be washed. My washer and dryer are constantly going. I also have to wash bedding every night because I also thought my son's sleep habits would improve...

My son would sleep at a reasonable hour and I could take him out of a pull up. This bullet probably deserves it's own separate post. Stathis has been sleeping with a pull-up since I started potty training him. He's now over 5 and I decided it was time to take the pull up off of him. And now, we have a bed-wetter. Sometimes he makes it through the night and sometimes he doesn't. He also is the kind of kid who will tell you he's not tired and pulls tantrums before bed. Honestly, his bed time is the worst time of the day. This week has been especially horrific. On Monday, he decided not to fall asleep until 11. And then, he was up at 4 until 6 because he had an accident and couldn't fall back asleep. He had a low-grade fever so I kept him home from school on Tuesday. Tuesday night, I told Tom I wanted to go to WalMart to pick up some stuff so I left about 7:30. When I got home at 9:30, Stathis was still up, still dressed, the tv was on and he was playing with his trucks. Tom had cleaned the kitchen, and offered to put Stathis down. Gee, thanks, I thought. This is where I see the most differences in Tom and I. I would think getting the child to bed is the priority and not the kitchen, but not Tom. He thinks the cleaner the house, the better. Stathis finally fell asleep around 11 again and then woke up around 6 because he wet the bed. I changed him and put him in our bed since Tom had already left for work. I slept until 10, which is unheard of for me and Stathis finally woke up at 11. So last night, we had another battle where he didn't sleep until midnight and then he woke up at 5 because he had yet another accident. He got into our bed and finally fell back asleep after 6 am and now he's at school. I am so frustrated. I feel like every time I try to start a strict bed-time routine it works for a few days or a week and then we are back at square one. He won't even fall asleep without one of us sitting on a chair outside his room in the hallway. If anyone has any advice on this, I would greatly appreciate it!!!

My family would be eating healthy homemade meals. I had visions of me being like Giada DeLaurentis and cooking fabulous Mediterranean inspired meals. But, by the time I do the laundry, tidy up, and run some errands, there's hardly anytime to cook!!! Don't get me wrong, we're not having take-out a lot, I just thought I would have some time to try cooking some new things, but it's the same old boring dinners night after night.

Christmas baking and presents would be done. Need I say more? I've got gifts everywhere that need to be wrapped and I haven't even thought about baking yet. I feel like the Grinch. When I was at WalMart I invested in Michael Buble and Justin Beiber's Christmas albums to see if they would get me out of my x-mas funk. I'm going to put them on today to see if they inspire me at all.

I would be ready for the twins. Nursery still not set up, I've got piles of clothes for them but nothing is organized. Thankfully my mother in law and sister in law are coming over on Sunday to help us with this task.

I would have some time for me. My uniform these days consists of black yoga pants, black long sleeve maternity shirt and my birkenstock clogs. I am wearing all black out of respect to Chris - I just don't feel comfortable wearing colour yet. My hair is long and shoulder length, parted in the middle and is constantly frizzy. My legs and bikini area? Let's just say it's a jungle down there. And I haven't worn a stitch of make up since I've been off. I need to get myself groomed. I used to be a hottie. Not so much, these days...

I guess I just feel completely overwhelmed and my son's sleep habits aren't helping any. And although Tom is a great husband, he's a man. They just don't get it the way us women do. My blog was primarily a blog about infertility but I chose a neutral title because I didn't want infertility to define me. It has definitely left it's scars on my soul and my psyche but so has my brother's recent death. I think my blog may start to take on a different tone about the battles of daily life as a working married mom in the year 2012. What do you all think?

So that is basically a summary of why I suck at being a stay at home mom. I don't know how my mom did it. Even though it's a battle, I know one thing for sure. I am a fighter. I will win this battle and figure out this mommy-stay-at-home-sleep-train-my-five-year-old-look-good-raise-twins-thing-one-day-at-a-time.