Well it's here. I have now made it to 28 weeks. And things are suddenly hitting me. I am going to have 2 babies. Holy Crap. If you are not wanting to read this post because it's about me venting about being a mom, please feel free to not read this post...
When I had my son, I was completely committed to breast-feeding exclusively. Oh, how I loved the fact that he latched on no problem and fed like a champ. I would spend hours sitting on the couch, watching daytime tv nursing him and then changing him, and then putting him in his little swing or his pack n play for a nap. My mom would come over and we would eat, drink tea and chat and then repeat the process.
But here's my reality now. There are two babies coming at once. And, there is a 5 year old who has karate, Greek school, homework and who will still need time with Mommy and Papa. And, a new house that isn't completely set up and feels a little weird. And, a widowed sister in law who will also have a baby and will need some support from my parents.
So, when I think about breast feeding I don't get all warm and fuzzy. I get annoyed. I think about how much time it will take and how I don't want to do it. It's like going from loving cheeseburgers to hating cheeseburgers. Can that happen in a lifetime? I am honestly contemplating formula feeding for my own sanity. Is that selfish? Yes, I know breast is best and all the benefits of nursing. I nursed my son exclusively for 8 months. But, I know this: Happy Mama = Happy Babies.
Do I go with the math? The logic? Or do I let the guilt that I would hear from the LaLeche Society rule my life? I think I know what I want. As much as I have prayed to God, the Virgin Mary and Saint Peter for these tiny miracles growing in my stomach I know I need to do what's right for me.
What's right for me is being able to measure how much they are taking in and getting them on the same sleep schedule right away. I just know myself enough to know that with twins, order will not come easy, but this is something that may help with the management of my new crew.
I really hope this post doesn't sound selfish and whiny but I am just trying to clear my head about this feeding issue. I know I can pump, I know I could supplement but really, I don't want to. I just want to get these babies eating and sleeping at the same time as soon as possible. 9 more short weeks to go!
Take Care!
Quads turn 2!
6 years ago
I dont think its selfish. I think you are trying to prepare and have a plan. Whatever works for you, will work for them. Theyll be just fine.
ReplyDeleteTwins adds a whole new meaning to schedule and sleep! I think you have to do what's best for you and the babies and if not breastfeeding is that, don't beat yourself up for it. Plenty of babies are formula fed and grow up to be great people!
ReplyDeleteYou do what's right for you and don't be influenced by the so-called crusaders. I almost lost my sanity because of breast feeding issues with my son (well, there weren't really issues other than that he wanted to be fed all the time and I lost myself in the process), so I understand you completely!
ReplyDeleteI don't know you but recently found your blog. My best friend had a 5 year old when she had her twin boys. She nursed her daughter for 14 months and loved it. She tried in the hospital with the boys and said, there is no way this is going to work out when we get home and I have 2 babies and a 5 year old I need to give attention to. She felt guilty too, but in the end decided a sane momma was the best for everyone. The twins are now 2 and doing great. Formula babies and thriving just as much as their breast fed sister.
ReplyDeleteI think what you feel is best IS the best! I can assure you, feeding twins either way is a big enough job on its own...if you can have more help that way, take it!!
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