So, after yesterday's events I really feel like I have come to the proverbial fork in the road. I had a long chat with my husband last night and we've decided on a few things:
- we will not be pursuing fertility treatments for the month of August, even if we get a BFN next Saturday
- we will be moving into our new house over the next week and we will list it for sale in January 2011 with the hope for a June 2011 closing (our other house will be ready in March of 2011 but we can carry both houses)
- we will be withdrawing from some summer workshops for teachers that take place in August so that we both have all of August free
- we will be going on a much needed vacation in August (somewhere where I can crash and burn - a 5 star resort somewhere down south)
- we will be hiring a cleaning lady to help with laundry and general housekeeping to keep the house clean
- We will be focussing on our health (weight loss, working out, giving back to the community managing stress, etc)
After this much needed conversation, God spoke to me again. The song "I'll Stand By You" by The Pretenders came on. I've often thought that God has somehow abandoned me on this infertility journey but I realized once this song played that God is here with me in the depths of this journey. We may decide that we are done fighting this fight, we may decide to pursue other IUI cycles, we may try IVF, and we both think adoption is a beautiful thing. God is giving us the strength to move foward, and he is trying to show me the way.
Here are the lyrics in case you haven't heard the song in a while:
Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do
Nothing you confess could make me love you less
I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
So, if you're mad get mad,
don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
But I'm alot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads, don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along, cause even if your wrong
I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Take me into your darkest hour,
and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
And when, when the night falls on you baby,
you're feeling all alone,You won't be on your own,
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by youI'll stand by you,
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.
Quads turn 2!
6 years ago
Hello there..Thanks for stopping by my blog. I really hope you get good news for this IUI. Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate right now. Hopefully a nice august vacation will help you to relax and get some needed rest. You guys are amazing the way you've moved around so much. I've lived in the same place for the past 6 years and though I want to move, it seems impossible to do sometimes...Good luck with everything though! :)
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, I've never in my life been so afraid to turn on the radio as I have as an infertile. Its like every other song gets my tear factory in heigh gear and the lyrics are speaking directly to me. It is seriously unreal! It is almost always when I am driving, and now there are times that I just don't turn on the radio.
ReplyDeleteIt was great to get your comment about delaying our SA. You made my lover really happy. He asked me tonight if all of my "blog friends" were in agreement with him that we should postpone the SA... He'd read my post and your response and it made him feel really good. I can't thank you enough for that!!!
Good luck with the action plan you've outlined above. I'd LOVE to join you for the 5 star vacation - sounds amazing! I am counting the hours until our vacation next week. and I totally support your plan to hire some cleaning help.
-Foxy
I love that chat with your husband. Thank you for the action plan. It gave me some great ideas- as E and I need son.
ReplyDeleteAn ICLW Visit from #107 (mfi, speedskating, strength)
liddy @ the unfair struggle
that sounds like some great compromise and some great decisions for the two of you.
ReplyDeletemay you find the strength you need in God and that 5 star resort :)
**ICLW
Firstly, good luck for the 31st! But also, I think it's fantastic that you have made some calm decisions about next steps that give you a great chance to revive and restore yourselves over the summer. Have a wonderful time. x
ReplyDeleteMy first time stopping by (ICLW #91) but I just wanted to say that is AWESOME you and your hubby had such a good talk, and I think a vacation is a WONDERFUL idea!!
ReplyDeleteGood luck figuring out what your next step will be, but more than that, I hope you get your BFP this cycle and don't have to think about it!