Waiting...

Well here we are a week later and I have entered the zen zone. I also call this my who cares? zone. My friends know this cycle very well and often laugh about it. I call it getting back to who cares?.

I'll explain it. So, when I get worked up about an issue, I usually start at Who Cares? Then I go to all the million reasons why things aren't fair and how I've been wronged. Then I cry a pity party for myself. Then I think of how stupid I'm being because things could always be worse. Then I talk myself out of whatever it is I'm worked out about because in the grand scheme of things, I can usually convince myself that it doesn't matter. And then I go back to Who Cares. I call it the Who Cares? cycle of thinking.

So here I am. I went to the fertility clinic yesterday and they tested my blood for progesterone. They told me that they wouldn't call me if everything was ok. No phone call, so that's a good thing. Other than that, I have 5 more days to wait until I go for my pregnancy test Saturday morning. So, here's hoping it's positive.

Even more than the thought of pregnancy is the thought of work. I haven't heard anything about the job that I had the interview for. It's a promotion within my department (K-6 Literacy/Numeracy). I'm not banking on getting the job as the competition is pretty fierce. I was freaking out over it - you should have seen the family of zits on my chin and the insomnia that lasted all week. But I have talked myself out of worrying about the job. These things are all beyond my control.

As for my husband and my little dude, they have been so awesome this week. And they are what matters the most. I had several clear moments of living in the now this weekend and I feel very grounded and prepared to face the week ahead. It's the last week of school and I have a lot to be grateful for.