What The Fark?

So. Today I went to see my new Naturopathic doctor. The one who told me that we had to stop trying for three months and to read two books - The Hormone Diet and The Eat Clean Diet. I have read the books, am (sort of) taking the supplements she sold me that cost more than the last wedding I went to and I am all about breathing, meditating and trying to get a handle on my anxiety.

So why do I feel EVEN MORE STRESSED after seeing her today? So, we went over some stuff when I saw her today, how I've been feeling blah blah blah. All good. Then I get on the bed for accupuncture and she starts examining me. Good news I am down 7lbs since the start of the summer! Bad news - my tongue shows something and she checks my pulses and pokes me here and there and asks me if I ever feel cold.

Ummmm, we live in Canada, right? Of course I am freakin' cold! So, she tells me that she's surprised I get my period every month because I have a "cold" uterus and that my liver or kidney or some organ that we need to live is all blocked up, which is a sign that I am withholding my anger and frustration. She sticks a bunch of needles in me and then tells me to relax for a few minutes and that she would come and check on me.

I lie there for my relaxing half hour and then all I can think is what's wrong with me? Why do I have a "cold" uterus? I want to grab my iphone and research on google what that means. Do I have a chance at another child? And then I start to get cold. Great.

I'm going back in two weeks for more accupuncture so we'll see if I've warmed up by then. I came home and told my husband and he started laughing. He's so mean. And then I cracked up too. He told me that hokey pokey and cold uterus are synonyms for each other.

By the way, AF is officially one day late.

Any thoughts?